I will sing of your steadfast love, O Lord, forever.
~ Psalm 89:1 It amazes me to think that at any given time any of us might feel unloved, or not wanted. It's a human condition that we all have experienced. I went through a very dark period where I had managed to become completely isolated from my friends and family. I couldn't seem to see my own self worth, so why would I want to surround myself with those who saw more in myself than I did. It's strange for me to think that I would do that to myself, but I did. We do all kinds of things through our life that could be associated with some type of self-destruction. I have often wondered if the relationship between Jesus and Judas was similar to what I have shared. Here you have the son of God telling one of his own to go out and complete the plans that he had been creating to bring an end to Jesus' life. Having the "rest of the story" available, we know that the dark plans, and the acts that followed, provide for us the knowledge that eternity comes at a cost. Although God has already made that journey for us, it is challenging for us not to experience glimpses of what this pain felt like. As we begin our Lenten journey, being mindful of our own times of trouble and pain, we are never fully alone. The love of God is always present. God of all creation, Today we are met with the words that from dust we have been formed and to dust we shall return. That our life can coexist with love, joy, sorrow and pain, and with You. We are glad for this season of Lent that we are beginning. We pray for the losses that we have encountered, For the blessings we have received, And for reminding us that with You all things are possible. In gratitude... Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019
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‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ~ Revelation 21:4 The very first church I served out of seminary was in Alvin, Texas. The small community is just south of Houston. It had been mostly a farming community, and the rice mill next to the train tracks seemed to cast a shadow for blocks at the end of day. It was filled with "old timers," as they would often call themselves. I learned pretty quickly that the name plates on the pews in the church meant something. These people knew one another pretty well.
During my first year at the church, it seemed that every time my phone rang, it was either someone dying, or someone had "just died." In an aging congregation, death is just something you come to expect. I didn't expect to get a call that Jay had died. Jay became a widower just after one year of marriage, and he never married again. I enjoyed my time with Jay. He was more like a "big kid," for all of us at the church, having grown up in the church as well. He was a large man with a large personality. I always knew on Monday morning, Jay would be walking in with his "Big Gulp," cup filled with soda, the bank bag he had picked up from the bank for the church, and the latest news from every person he had already met that day. He simply was a walking community representative and a faithful follower of the church. He was easy to like, and so the morning that I got the call from his sister, Jackie, that Jay had collapsed and they didn't know if he would live, I couldn't seem to get to the hospital fast enough. I remember it was a damp morning, and the clouds just seemed to hang so low. I remember walking in to the emergency room to discover that all attempts to save his life had been exhausted, and I was standing next to the body of a man that had become my friend. His father and his family were just somewhat in shock, as well as, every older person in the church. They had watched him grow up, then meet this amazing young woman who would fall in love with this man, and then would be taken so soon from him and all those who cared for them. As I started to prepare the service for Jay, I suddenly realized I didn't know what Bible verses he liked, or what his favorite songs were. I knew he loved the "Cowboys" football team. Some would say "that was all you needed to know." I felt like I wanted to know him better. I remember asking for his Bible, and his father brought it from Jay's room. The worn cover was filled with pages that had been turned over and over. When I opened it, I suddenly had an outpouring of notes and cards. Inside were the love letters and cards that Jay had shared with his wife while they were dating, and even after they were married. I didn't know a lot about who Jay was as a young man, and as I read the notes, I discovered a love that was so amazingly pure and filled with joy. His wife, just shortly after they were married, was wearing a nightgown that had gotten too close to an exposed flame of a heater in the house. The fabric burst into flames, and she was burnt over her entire body. She would remain in the hospital, undergoing months of agonizing treatments, only to die on their first year wedding anniversary. It was painful to think of what this young couple had experienced. Not once in anything that I read shared of Jay's pain during this time. Only the words and the promise that he would continue to love her always. The Jay I knew only spoke of joy, and shared his faith freely. An early translation of the word, "widow," means one to be "empty." Jay was anything but that. He continued to live his life, changed, not empty, but full of the belief that he would see his wife once again. I know that there will never be another "Jay." What I have discovered is that faith invites us to be filled. Not empty. That when we have encountered loss, we are being invited to be filled again. Even for the Psalmist who has encountered the "valley of death," there remains a cup that is ready to be "filled to overflowing." Loss is something we all know about. The love that God has for us continues to pour over us. Wounds are openings in our life that when opened to God may be filled with healing. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness hasn't overcome it.
~ John 1:5 I remember waking up in the middle of the night when I was a small child. As I looked at the wall beside my bed, I glanced up at the mirror that hung just above the dresser. I suddenly froze when I seemed to have caught a glimpse of "something," just behind me! I couldn't move. I couldn't take my eyes off of whatever this "thing" seemed to be! I remember laying perfectly still, monitoring my breathing. Hoping that whatever "this thing was," would not realize that I was awake! I stared at this shadow in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. Of course at seven years old, two minutes seems like an eternity. I just couldn't move, and I was literally paralyzed by my imagination that was creating scenarios in my mind! Is it a stranger? A monster? Something that has yet to be discovered? I'm not sure how long I watched the shadow, but I remember falling back to sleep. Obviously, I must have thought it better to be attacked and devoured by this monstrous shadow in my sleep! In the morning I remember waking up and noticing a can of Lincoln Logs that my mother had sat on the dresser. THIS was the shadow that I saw as it sat next to the mirror. I remember feeling "relieved" and "stupid" all at the same time. After that night, I never sat anything on top of my dresser again. Funny how nearly fifty years later I can remember so many things about that night. I can still feel the blanket that wrapped me, protecting me from whatever "that" was just beyond my bed. The fear, but most of all the darkness of the room. My parents were not "night light parents." We were told early in life that there was nothing in the darkness that could harm us, but to a seven year old, staring at a shadow in the darkness, my imagination had not heard what my parents had told me. In our faith we are taught that Jesus is the light. We are taught that not only that Jesus is the Light, but he is the Light of the World! A few years ago I was sitting on the beach in Galveston, watching two children search the shoreline for shark teeth and shells. On the breeze I could hear the occasional moan of a ship as it passed, and of birds as they would run back and forth dancing, as each wave surrendered it's power to the shoreline, bringing treasures from the Gulf. The darkness of night meant something else to these kids as they explored, laughed, and called out to one another as they would find something new. In our faith, we struggle with light and darkness all the time. Even in the light of day, we are confronted by darkness in the things that we encounter. Bad things happen to good people, and we must find a way to resolve the experience. Bringing the things that have caused darkness in our life into the light can sometimes be painful. In the morning as a seven-year-old I realized how silly it was to be afraid of the shadow of a Lincoln Log container, but as an adult, I realize that the darkness only lasts until the sunrise. The light exists so that we all may know that when we encounter darkness, the light will soon return. The Light of Christ will always prevail. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019 "But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul."
~ Deutoronomy 4:29 Whether we realize it or not, we are all seeking something. There is something about our humanness that always seems to leave us searching and seeking. We were created by God to do God's will, but we always seem to find that God's will does not always align with ours. I used to tell people that yelling at children is like steering your car with your horn. I have to wonder if God ever feels that way with us? Signs, plans, discoveries, and making goals are all things that as a human being we consider to be pretty normal. And then something happens and it all must change. I don't know why we are surprised when we place our trust in human beings rather than God and things do not turn out as you have hoped. I've learned through my own experiences that when this happens, God still has a plan. Maybe it wasn't what you had thought would be the outcome, but with God there is always a plan. Instead of looking at what happened, look at what God has in store for you. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019 "Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."
~ Jude 21 There are so many things in our lives that can cause us to become anxious. Our relationship with God can become both distant and difficult when issues become great. It's like our health. If you continually surround yourself with unhealthy situations, then you will begin to exhibit signs of the environment. The love and mercy of God are available for all. God's relationship with each of us involves our ability to live in that mercy and love. Sometimes it takes a situation to cause us to stop and evaluate that relationship. The challenges that we face can impede that presence if we are not willing to stop and wait. When we don't evaluate and meditate. The greatest block in our spiritual life is often ourselves. We get so involved in attempting to overcome tremendous hurdles that we fail to invite God to be present. We are reminded to invite God to always be present in a relationship that is driven by God's love for us. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. ~ Jeremiah 20: 9 "I have made it to the mountain, I can surely make it through the valley."
Encouraging words shared, and encouragement received. Our words to one another can make a huge difference. While visiting with a woman in her final days of life, her words to her family were filled with promises. "I know that God will be there to meet me when I take that last breath, because God was with me on the day that I took my first." Driving along rain-soaked roads yesterday, the dreary weather had done more than dampen clothes. My spirit was feeling a little wet as well. I have to admit, some days are just difficult. I have learned over the years to take each visit and nicely package them in a place in my mind where I can then move on to my next patient. However, on rainy, cloudy days, the weather doesn't help my brain to cooperate, and so I am left feeling many things. On days like these, my mind turns to God and wonders how it is that God is able to relate to us so independently, while also addressing entire communities when there has been a need? A flood in one community, winter storm in another, a missing child, or a war in another, can bring about waves of people reaching out, while the simple prayer of a child asking that God bless his "Mommy and Daddy, along with my dog Ralph," receives the same attention. In a single moment we are reminded that each of us are God's "beloved." From the very beginning of humanity we have remained God's most precious among all creation. Even when we seemed to have lost hope, overwhelmed by the events of the world, and not knowing where to turn. This is why God then sent Jesus. Each day, whether sunny or cloudy, God pursues after us, seeking to find ways to love us so that we might understand how to love one another better. It is in these moments that we fully understand our need to support and love one another. The words of the woman I spent time with yesterday reminded, not just her family, but all of us, that the love of God compels us to speak words of hope, faith and love to one another. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2019 |
AuthorRev. G. Todd Williams is the author of the book, "Remember Me When..." and is a former hospice chaplain and pastor. Archives
February 2024
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