"This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name... Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.' For if your forgive [humans] when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive [them] their sins, your heavenly Father will not forgive you."
~ Matthew 6:9, 12, 14-15 Have you ever been wounded by someone who you deeply care for? A friend? Family member? When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. If we were to look at these events, for me, I would list these as tragic events. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. I can remember asking someone, "How can I forgive you for that?" when I was caught off-guard by a close friend who shared something she had done. There are those moments when forgiveness seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, "In the Name of God you are forgiven." Let's pray for that grace while seeking to remain in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
~ Psalm 34:18 Yesterday a group made up of chaplains, clergy, and consultants who specialize in trauma recovery met for lunch. The focus centered on the losses we have encountered while serving those who were effected, whether directly, or indirectly, from the hurricane this past summer. I think that for those in attendance, as the chaplains I serve with shared of their experiences, a greater understanding of what hospice chaplains do each day became much more apparent. The daily losses we encounter can be somewhat overwhelming, but then add a real storm to the mix, and the losses we encounter become devastating. Our discussions focused around loss and grief, self care, and how we can focus on remaining a positive presence for others. In the church we don't actually ever really speak about death and loss. We talk a whole lot about surrender, and sacrifice, but rarely do we talk about the one thing we will all experience, and that is death. We do have Good Friday, the day that we remember the death of Christ, and then the church falls silent and we can't seem to wait until Easter morning to announce that "He is risen." For each of us there can be, and let's face it, there are, real losses in our lives. There is not any one of us immune from death. At some point we all will die. I don't know of any of us who have not thought about our own death. Many have shared that they aren't afraid of dying. It's the process they worry about. The church reminds us that if we live a good life, helping others, and loving one another, that our life will be filled with many blessings, but the fact of the matter is, we will still experience losses and like our friends and family, we will die one day as well. Having suffered a serious illness several years ago, I lived every day with the knowledge that I could possibly die. There was a popular song on the radio at that time that reminded folks to live every day as "if you are dying." You don't tell people with a terminal illness to live every day as if they are dying. They already know that. Instead, live every day as if you are truly living! While I acknowledge our need to talk about death, we are also faced with moving forward. In the United States there was a study a few years ago that reported we expect people to return to work and function normally after experiencing a death within two weeks. There have been an untold number of books written about grief and recovery, but our grief is a personal journey, which for some, lasts their entire lives. Additiinally, there have been just as many books and articles on what to tell others when someone close to them has died. I wish that I could say that there are perfect words to express, but sometimes there are simply no words. Upon arriving at the tomb where the friend of Jesus laid, "Jesus wept." There were no words. In our understanding of loss, sometimes our outward expression of being sorry is simply enough. The language of our hearts can often be spoken in silence, with hand holding, and with tears. As I begin to think of the journey of Lent less than a month away, I am reminded, "From dust you were created, and dust you stall return." May our losses be surrounded by the love of Christ, and may we use that love with one another. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ~ Ephesians 2:10 One of the most challenging things about serving those who are at the end of their life is dealing with disappointments. So many times I hear about the things the person, "wished" they had done.
However, there are just as many times when I hear people share how they knew, "This is what God put me here on this earth to do." They say that "hindsight is 20/20," and that somehow looking back seems to create a clearer picture. Perhaps it does, but in that constant state of looking back, the road ahead can become clouded by "what if's?" Being able to be whom God created you to be can be overwhleming at times. Not necessarily when it comes to doing, or being, that person. No, it's often difficult because we become concerned what others will think. While we are reminded to love one another, to turn the cheek when hurt, and to be the instruments of Christ in a chaotic, and sometimes hurtful world, I have also learned from listening to the stories of others, that sometimes we must learn to let go. And sometimes, that means people as well. Years ago as a young pastor serving my first church, a family left the faith community. Somehow I felt it was my fault, and a few people even helped me to own that situation, offering suggestions. I visited, invited, took them dinner, along with a number of other things. And then came the truth. They were simply not being fed. It had abdolutely nothing to do with me. I was even told, "We stayed until they got a new minister, but we had decided to leave months ago. We were just waiting for the right time." So often we have our own ideas of where people need to be, while the reality is, they have a need to be where God wants them to grow! Jesus listened, and knew the people he encountered. The disciples were people that he called out to, "Follow me," and they did! Empty nets along the shoreline, fishermen no more! A tax collector Levi, who left his office one day and became Matthew. And even one who would betray him was told, "Go and do what you must." Our lives are about doing and becoming what God wants us to be. I love it when I hear stories of reaching the place where God has wanted the person to be, and even more amazed at how the person arrived at that place. Moses wandered a desert. Noah road out the rains. Jesus was born in a stable. And you are here today. Each of is have a purpose. Each of us are the created Child of God, designed to be unique, and to live out our lives within that desgin. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
~ Matthew 14:29 Peter stepping out of the boat to walk on water is recorded in three of the Gospels. In exegetical terms, that's a very real account of something happening. When there has been an accident, the investigating officer will gather all the witnesses to get a better understanding of what happened by gathering each eye-witness account. It helps to build the case through each person's sharing. This story being shared in three Gospels confirms that something did happen. I have to admit, I wouldn't mind watching someone walk on water, I'm unsure if I would want to be that person. It's not that I don't have faith, what I know I do possess is doubt and fear. (I am actually afraid to dive into water that I can't see the bottom!) I don't believe that God would allow me to drown. And for the sake of the Gospel, I believe God would reach out and pull me from the dark seas, just as Jesus did with Peter. It's the whole idea of the process. Each day we are challenged to step out of our comfort zones. Each day we are given the opportunity to experience the voice of God, calling us to "Come." God's call to us is not always to step out onto the water. It may be to stop and assist a stranger. Perhaps to strike up a conversation with someone you sit near on the bus. Or to sign up to assist your community. There are many ways we can step outside the boat. Finding courage is half the struggle. What was it within Peter that made him take that first step? Keeping focused when we have been called can be challenging enough. Accepting that call can make a difference, not just in your life, but the lives of others as well. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 And he said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows;he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.” ~ Mark 4:26 - 29 This week as I was out visiting hospice patients, I found myself on a road surrounded by empty cotton fields. I stopped and noticed the mounded rows, ready to begin a new season of growth.
Growing up in a farming community has created an element of understanding of just how much work goes into preparing the ground so that the seeds will have the best possible chance for a successful growing season. It's a real blessing to know that each of us are cared for by God like the fields that I encountered this week. As a kid I can remember that often somewhere along a fence line of a field, you might find a pile of stones that had been removed from the field, so that equipmemt wouldn't be damaged, or to prevent a seed from being properly planted. Often when God begins to prepare us for something, we might find that we hesitate to surrender, or change. The farmer knows that unless the field isn't completely ready, a bountiful harvest may not be possible. It's funny how Jesus shares about farming in parables when the reality is, he is talking about us. Making ourselves ready takes a lot of work. And sometimes it's not about work. I also learned that sometimes the fields must be allowed to rest, so that when the time is right, the field will be ready to begin again. The same applies to us. Just because we may feel that God isn't doing something in our life, doesn't mean that we, like the field during rest, isn't being readied for a greater season of growth. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 Creator, like the breeze of wind in spring's march
You blow across the plains; all the earth grows with each breath. Gathering the dawn, and collecting the body of Your kingdom, molding the global community that will be. Your entrance, like the warmth of sun poured out on the morning mist of predawn, fills the shadows of darkness and gives new light for illumination. Like the aroma of the tallest of sycamore trees that line the dancing brook, You are carried on the breeze. You clothe our senses, carpet our hopes with shades of purple of gold, the adornment of the One, ushered in as the King, who is Christ. You sweep in, bringing relief to parched soils, and loosen the grip of winter in the tundra. You dissipate the smog, encouraging us to breathe You in, you sweet ruach, "breath of God." The gulf hears Your roar as You destroy sandy foundations, forfeiting materialistic ideas, quickening us to the center of our soul. Like the lover's breath, You whisper hope, promising forgiveness, and seal us to You with grace from Your Spirit. Some days, the salty tears, which created our oceans in Your own loneliness, fall from Your face still, leaving us to wonder what possibilities are availing. But like the first cosmic light of dusk, You are there to greet us. So You visit us in the evening of our life when we sense our work is complete, delivering to us Your complete peace. I believe in Your Holy Spirit, which gives each of us life poured out on all flesh. Who, with the Father and the Son, is worshiped and glorified. Amen. Celebrate the day and Stay in God's grip! Written by G. Todd Williams, from the book, "Let Us Pray: Reformed Prayers for Christian Worship", Martha Gilliss, Editor, Geneva Press, copyright 2002 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~ Colossians 3:13 It was not an easy conversation. The subject was centered around forgiveness, and the person had been carrying a hurt for decades.
"How many times must I try? And how will I know the apology is real?" I think we all have some understanding of what this person is talking about. I recently had shared with someone that I was so tired of turning the other cheek that I was ready to turn away and not try ever again. Our ability to forgive others is as much about extending forgiveness as it is receiving forgiveness as well. Scripture talks of forgiving one another "seventy-seven times." The person I was having the conversation with said that she had simply "lost count." Carrying things with us can become a heavy weight. It's no more about carrying around old baggage, especially when it is something that should have been left somewhere else a long time ago. Learning to forgive others can be filled with both good and bad moments, but ultimately it becomes more about maturity and love. Forgiveness is not always about the words used to offer or receive forgiveness, it must also come from a place where we may also act upon the situation. We will always be aware that in our life we encounter people at various stages of maturity. And because of this reason, our response will also come in different forms. The person who was sharing her situation with me finally said, "I realize that I will never completely forget what happened because I am not God. I wish that I could forgive him the way that God forgives me." To that I responded, "I guess that is the lesson we all must strive to learn." Learning how to give and receive forgiveness can take a lifetime of learning, and it doesn't stop there. I'm so grateful to God that forgivenss to God will carry us through eternity. When we reach out to ask for forgiveness and to receive it, our lesson is one that we will carry with is always. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "Love your neighbor as yourself"
~ Matthew 22:38 Today it seems we are asking ourselves, "Who is my neighbor?" Our ability to pick and choose those who we claim to be like ourselves can sometimes leave us segregated and at odds, and anything but neighbors. When Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:29 - 37) to answer the question "Who is my neighbor?" he ends by asking: "Which ... do you think, proved himself a neighbor to the man who fell into the bandits' hands?" The neighbor, Jesus makes clear, is not the poor man laying on the side of the street, stripped, beaten, and half dead, but the Samaritan who crossed the road, "bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them ... lifted him onto his own mount and took him to an inn and looked after him." His neighbor was the man who crossed the road! Years ago Thomas Merton when getting off a bus in Louisville, Kentucky looked around and realized he loved every person that he saw. He realized that they were not strangers on the street, but yet, were his brothers and sisters, AND, he loved each and every one! Every person was his neighbor! How different would our lives be if we recognized that relationship in every person we met? I have to admit, some people I know would be challenging! (Including myself!) However, I must remind myself that God loves each person as much as God loves me. YOU are MY neighbor, I am YOURS, and YOU are LOVED! Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! ~ Psalm 40:11 Yesterday morning I sat and waited for a nurse to finish her visit with a new patient that just came on hospice. As I sat and listened to her talk to the patient's spouse and instruct on how to provide comfort, I realized there was much more going on.
As the spouse followed instructions, and together with the nurse, reposition the patient and gave medications, occassionally I would hear the spouse, "I know it hurts, honey. We are almost done, and I promise you will feel better and be able to rest." It wasn't so much of what was being said, but the way it was communicated. It came from a place of love. The couple have been together for several decades, raised a family, and now are encountering the end of life together. The two know each other so well. As I listened I thought of times when I struggled in my faith, and times when I was so wounded, but then I sensed the words, "My dear child, it will be okay. I am here." Our presence for one another serves as a witness of God's presence. The times when we hurt. The times we find comfort. God is present for all. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, "Don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
~ Mark 4: 37-40 I think all of us have experienced times of great need. Something happens, and within moments we begin to cry out to God, "Can't you see I am struggling here?" And then there is a, "Yes... now be calm." Oh the lessons we learn when we struggle, and to think that God is not aware! I often cringe when I hear someone say, "You know, it's God's plan." God must have planning meetings all the time. Our nature is to want to not only give God credit, but sometimes also blame, when things don't turn out as we had expected or hoped. Be still and know that I am God is the part of scripture that we seem to overlook when we are busy crying out for God's help. When we struggle with life circumstances, or even making up our mind, the first thing we should be attempting to do is to be calm and allow God to be present. It's funny, in the boat that day the storm arose, Jesus was resting, and the Disciples were fretting! They didn't even hardly wait for God to have a chance, instead they demanded results now! The presence of God exists always. Our presence of mind and God's power seems to disconnect when we forget to be still. Praying that peace be present so that God's presence may be a real priority. God, You hear what I am saying; You see what I dream. My only hope is for You to keep listening; You're the only One whom I can trust. At dawn I begin to search my soul for words of warmth; when I rise I want to praise You. You are pained by my mistakes, for nothing unloving can reside in You. Ignorance cannot measure up to You. Those who oppress others shall bear Your displeasure. My role shall be that of a worshiper celebrating Your love; in gratitude I will turn my face to the cross and altar. God, lead me in Your steps of goodness; may the road lead me in straight paths. Embark, all who bear witness to the love of God, celebrate with me. Hosanna! Hosanna! You embrace us all; may we all find complete happiness in You. To all those who embrace love, You give happiness. Your love is stronger than tempered steel. Stay in God's Grip! The poem written by G. Todd Williams, from the book, "Let Us Pray: Reformed Prayers fro Christian Worship", Martha S. Gilliss, Editor, Geneva Press, Copyright 2002 G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord."
~ Psalm 27: 13,14 "I come to the garden alone," are opening words to one of my favorite hymns. Over the years I have spent time in a number of gardens. Nearly all have been a place where I managed to work tbrough things that were on my mind. For Christ the garden served as a place where he would go to pray. Solitude is the garden for our hearts, which yearns for love. It can be a place, where we enter alone, can be a place where our faith can take root and bear fruit. It is the home for our restless bodies and anxious minds. Solitude, whether it is connected with a physical space or not, is essential for our spiritual lives. Finding our way to the place where solitude can be found isn't necessarily an easy journey for some of us. For some solitude is an uneasy, insecure and fearful place. Distractions and over-thinking problems can make the garden an uncomfortable place. The preparation that goes into a garden, including the plans, does not make the situation immediately satisfying. Growing up on a farm in Southern Indiana, I knew the hillsides very well. As I would mow I knew where the land dropped and where large rocks were located, just under the surface. Like those hillsides, the garden can also be a place where we meet our demons. But if we do not run away, we will alao meet the One who says, "Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness." May we all find ourselves walking in the garden in peace. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "Where have you laid him?” He asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they answered. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
~ John 11:34 - 36 Probably one of the best known verses, and the shortest in scripture. "Jesus wept." There are volumes of commentaries centered around this day in the life of Christ. The raising of Lazarus, a dear friend who had died, and was in the tomb long enough that the people around Jesus warn that he "would have begun to smell." Let's face it, there are some things that happen in our lives where there are no words. The reaction of Christ, for me, is a stark reminder that sometimes the only thing a person can do is to cry. When I was serving as a hospital chaplain, I was often responding to trauma and tragedy. The thought of calling a chaplain is surrounded by times when no words are available, and often, tears are the only expression. I have laughed and cried with strangers as they stand at the door to the tomb of life situations. Calling forth Lazarus that day, Jesus raised his friend from the dead. Each day we stand, calling forth for the answers to the questions in our lives, and somehow we wait, and watch for answers to come forth. May we all, in the moments when tears are the only expression we can find to let others know our pain, know that we do not stand alone. It's amazing to know that there is a God who stands with us, and cries as well. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. ~ Psalm 23:6 So much of the time when I read the 23rd Psalm, I am once again transported back to Trish Tull's Hebrew class at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. Summer Hebrew, also known as "Hebrew Boot Camp," was the first class all incoming Masters of Divinity students were required to take during the summer before fall classes begin at LPTS.
Our group of new students, mostly women, and like myself, mostly second career, would gather for several hours each day. With her wonderful southern drawl, Trish would take us through daily lessons, and invite us to look at the Bible as a text book, as well as, a source of inspiration. The class nearly "ate my lunch," and I must admit there were some days I worried that I may have made a wrong decision to leave my job with two small children to care for, to follow what I felt God was calling me to do. On one particular day, several weeks into this five-week course, she started the class after we all had experienced a terrible test failure with these words, "Look, your calling is not based on the grade you receive in this class. Your ability to serve others is not based on a grade. It's based on your ability to be present for others." There's a reason why LPTS fills its classrooms with teachers that are both excellent scholars, but also, excellent pastors. The room was silent. Not because there wasn't more to say, it was because peace was invited in among us. She reminded us that while the twenty-third Psalm reminds us that "goodness and mercy shall follow us," but that the word for follow in Hebrew also means to, "pursue after." In that moment we all suddenly realized that God, regardless of our grade, would continue to call out to us. It became a milestone, and truly a reminder for me, and advice I have shared with many who have experienced failure, or have felt they were not "good enough to serve," that when God calls us, God doesn't ever stop chasing after us, wanting goodness and mercy to exist in our daily lives. There is strength in knowing that this exists for us, and that God wants each of us to experience these things. I'm so grateful for this lesson, the teacher that was also a pastor, and for a God that continues to prove time and time again that each of us are worth the effort. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 God Himself buried Moses, with no grave and no monument that the Israelites could use to create another idol for worship. ~ Deuteronomy 34:5-7 I think for any of us being told "no," can sometimes have lingering consequences. Recently I was told I would not be able to attend a gathering of clergy because my current calling did not meet the qualifications. I thanked the person for the clarification and hung up the phone, while looking at the invitation that clearly stated "all clergy."
I don't know why situations like this still surprise me, and even more, why situations like this still can hurt me. In my mind I know it is often nonsence, but in my heart, especially when it comes to my faith, it is a specific pain, and often causes me to turn away, rather than to turn another cheek and try another way to belong. Finding ourselves at the water's edge and not being able to cross over to the Promised Land is nothing new. Even Moses after leading the Hebrew people out of Egypt and through the desert for forty years was told, "No," because of his anger one day, and was never allowed to cross over. I will admit, I have not always been the most faithful to supporting the decisions made by leaders in my faith tradition. I think it stems from often being hurt by the way that the decision has either neglected others, or caused the vision that God has planted to simply die inside those who dared to dream. Years ago I served on a committee that was part of the licensing process for people seeking to become ministers in my faith tradition. We would listen to candidates share their experiences and how they heard God's calling in their lives. They would share how God brought them to a place where they could begin to talk about what God was doing in their life. Most of the time the committe would affirm. Although, sometimes I would see other members of the committee destroy the candidate's spirit through their questions. While most of those we met were welcomed, some were turned away, often never again to return. I would often struggle to remind others on the committee that God doesn't always call the qualified, but qualifies the called. A few times I would tell the candidate not to give up just because a group told them "No." Instead, go and find a way to make it work. One of those candidates left and found her way in another faith tradition and now is serving mothers living on the streets with their children and helps them to find permanent housing. Hearing that we are not "qualified," or "welcomed," can be very hurtful, especially in church. I have seen it over and over throughout the years. Maybe the person was divorced, was living with someone, was gay, or had a tattoo. I saw a church turn on someone when they discovered the person was married to someone of a different faith. Sometimes the church can be anything but welcoming. Sometimes children can act like real bullies, rather than God's children. Someone once asked me what God's love looks like when someone has really hurt us? My response, "On the day I die, the person who hurt me the most will be among those that welcomes me unconditionally into heaven. It will be as much a lesson for me as it will be for the one welcoming me home." Because while we may be hurt by someone, or even an organization that may believe that they are acting as part of the body of Christ, God will always find a way. One thing that we sometimes forget, is that even while Moses was turned away from crossing over the Jordan into the Promised Land, it is recorded that God cared for Moses the rest of his days and buried him. God always finds a way to care for each of us. Stay in God's grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
~ 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 One of the most difficult things I have experienced in my life was watching my great grandparents and grandparents grow old and die. In my eyes they were all great people who loved others, laughed, and even as they aged they continued to serve as amazing mentors. My grandfather when he struggled with Parkinson's would remark about the tremors in his hand, "but I can make an amazing milkshake." My great grandmother after seventy plus years of marriage to my great grandfather told me, "Don't hate. It takes up too much of the time of life that you could be loving life." After Dr. King's murder one of my grandfather's shared "What one generation will accept, the next will embrace. Be bold in what you do." The fact that we all at some point will enter the chapter in our life where we decline and then die is a journey we began the moment our lungs reached out to take that first breath of life. For some life has been filled with many turns, and for some, a course so well planned out there have been few surprises. For all of us, each day is new. Although we cannot stop the progress of time, nor the progressive pace of time on our bodies, the renewal of our relationship with God can and does occur each day. I miss my family whom I was blessed to know and who loved me so dearly, but watching them live their faith in such fresh ways, even until they drew that final breath makes my own journey easier. I guess that's why I'm okay with growing older, including all that comes with this condition. I want the next generations to see that life lived in faith can and does make it all worth while, and that's what really determines your quality of life. Stay in God's Grip! G. Todd Williams (c) 2018 |
AuthorRev. G. Todd Williams is the author of the book, "Remember Me When..." and is a former hospice chaplain and pastor. Archives
February 2024
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