I am always reminded that we are called to grieve our losses. Even when the losses seem to have caused the type of pain that paralyzes us, and keeps us held as a prisoner to guilt and shame.

One of the things that I have become acutely aware of while being with those who are piecing together their lives and attempting to reconcile the past, is that when we find it necessary to hide parts of our own life stories from ourselves, or perhaps God, then we suddenly find that we become our own judge of our own past.

It's almost as if we prevent our own pain and keep God from being able to share that pain with us.

I was reminded today that God sent Christ to remind us that it is not the well who need a physician, but those who are in pain. For those who suffer and struggle to find a sense of healing for the woundedness that each of us encounter.

While trying to sleep last night, I realized that sometimes we simply need to name what we have lost, and why or what wounded us that caused us to live in that pain.

I guess I must have gone pretty deep on this journey because I suddenly realized that until we face our own woundedness, we are not allowing a place for God and healing to begin.

I remember while doing my fellowship at M D Anderson Cancer Center, as part of a project, I placed a chalice in the hands of different people and asked them what they thought or felt when they took hold of the cup that gathers the blood of Christ so that others may remember and draw closer to God.

Rarely did I hear the response that the person felt "suffering." It was always about reconciliation and restoration.

Going through the suffering is what allowed the reconciliation. Acknowledging the pain is what allowed room for restoration.

By allowing God to be with is in our hurts, that which has wounded us can and does look much different.

We must remember that our woundedness invites us to be held by bigger hands. That's why each day I try to remind us, including myself, to "Stay in God's grip!"

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
~ Matthew 11:28 - 30

yoke (yōk)
noun
1. a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull.

Imagine this. You are walking along and someone says, "Try taking a walk in my shoes..."

I have met many people in my life. The roles that they serve are varied. Hardly ever do I look at someone and proclaim, "I want to be like them!"

You might say that this conclusion has come with age, that my own personal vision for myself seems to be framed in, and that I feel like I am where God wants me in my life for the time being. However, it doesn't mean that I don't think about what more God may have for me in my life.

The idea of a wooden yoke is not something that we think of often today, unless you are viewing a frontier parade and you happen to see oxen pulling a wagon. For the writer of Matthew, the wooden yoke was common thing to encounter. It was an image that everyone in that society could identify with. So, when I think about wearing a yoke upon my shoulders, it seems to me to be very cumbersome and difficult.

Life is not easy sometimes. There are all kinds of challenges and loads that we carry. Perhaps we don't identify them with a yoke, but some things that we tend to carry are larger than the largest of yokes, and the payload is definitely heavy.

One of the things that I realize is that when Christ invites us to carry this yoke, it is in tandem. It's meant to be shared, not something that is our responsibility only.

It is as if Christ is saying to us, "I know that life is difficult, but if you will just share things with me, I will make it easier."

That's very challenging at times, especially for those of us who are prone to carry everything alone. Sharing our burdens is not something that we are comfortable with. Christ invites us to share not only our burdens, but our lives as well.

It's as if there is someone standing there, saying, "Let me help."

Sharing the load, or our burdens can provide for all kinds of rest. It is just another way of knowing that God is very real and present, and wanting to help. It's an invitation that is fulfilled by a promise that things will get better. That things will lighten, and real peace can exist.

May we all know this peace by allowing Christ to carry with us, that which weights us down.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
~ from Psalm 23

The last words of this Psalm for many of us are a lasting promise of our spiritual life ahead. Each day seems to be such a race. Our list of "things to do" can be so overwhelming that we wake up feeling like we are already behind.

Each day as we rise we seem to be taking part in the human "race."

Why is it that our pace of life seems to take away from our pursuit of God?

Psalm 23 describes all types of conditions that we might encounter in our relationship with God while living in the human race. For each line there is a response. A blessing.

In all of these situations there is a promise that goodness and mercy are in pursuit after us. Even in our crazy scheduled lives.

Like many of us, I feel somewhat behind with all I have planned today. At some point, though, we all must realize that we need to keep God present in all that we do. Especially if we want to survive living in the human "race!"

Praying that we all find the day filled with God's blessings, and the strength to keep up!

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You."
~ Psalm 39: 7

With so many events in the news this week, one of the things I have noticed is that people seem to have lost hope. They have lost hope that things will get better. Bombs, shootings, hateful campaign commercials, road rage... It goes on and on.

All of this things can cause us pain. I don't think that the loss of hope is all that uncommon. It is a reminder to each of us that our faith and the faith that things will get better is also an invitation for us to get involved.

I shared with someone the other night while listening to the person literally fall apart as she shared about how all of the recent events in the world was effecting her. My response was, "we must still have hope."

This is going to be a challenge for all of us. We have been subjected to some very unhealthy and excuse my word, "nasty" examples of what the human race is capable of dishing out.

It will be hard to accept most anything, but somewhere in all of this we must have hope.

The God of all creation often must wait for us to really mess things up before we recognize our need to return to God. Did you know the two most common words found in the Hebrew scripture mean, "to go away from" and "return?"

It is our nature to turn from God and return. There is nothing new about this situation, however, it's new because we are another generation and it effects us directly.

Today, as many days, my hope is in the Lord. I'm trusting that things will get better, and praying that we arrive together.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."
~ I Corinthians 9:23

She said to me, "I don't go to church because they are the most 'non-Christian-like people' I have ever met."

It was a very real conversation I had with someone who had been hurt so deeply by a group of people at a church.

The body of Christ, no matter how wonderful it can and should be, is sometimes flawed by folks with "good intentions" and "theology!"

The incorporation of God's children into hands and feet can sometimes produce fists and kicks. Brutal tongues for mouths and eyes with blinders that prevent the bigger picture to be seen.

The love of God is marred in human experiences and conditioned by interpretations and teaching.

So the body is not perfect!

I'm not defending the church, there are plenty out there who already attempt that enough. However, I am saying this, the body of Christ exists for ALL, and because it is, there has to be healing and forgiveness.

How do any of us forgive when the hurt comes from some form of the church?

A friend and I were having a conversation about some of these experiences just the other night. One thing was for certain, we both recognized that even in our own experiences, we know that God loves each and ALL of us the same.

That can be challenging within itself! In our families there can be favorites, but our God truly DOES love each of us as God's favorite.

So back to the thought, "How DO WE forgive someone when that someone happens to be THE CHURCH?"

The Church, is the living body of Christ. When we are harmed by the body, then it keeps us at a distance from Christ. I have met many folks who claim to dislike or not trust religion, but claim to be Christian. In these situations not only does the person miss out on community, but also Christ.

This challenge is especially great because the Church seldom asks us for forgiveness, at least not officially. But the Church as an often fallible human organization needs our forgiveness, while the Church as the living Christ among us continues to offer us forgiveness.

I have learned to look at the church in this way, "The Church is often made up of people who at the heart, are often struggling with their own weaknesses and brokenness, who also are seeking forgiveness from a God who lives each and every one just the same."

Don't ever believe that any of you don't belong. The truth is that God sent Christ so that ALL may have everlasting life. Not the "Frozen Chosen" or whatever names may be used. YOU have the same inheritance as that child. Live knowing that forgiveness exists, and you are loved.

Oh, and be ready, there are going to be some jaws dropping moments in heaven!

​Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

Each day I encounter families coming to terms that someone in their family is dying, and the struggles that many of them face as grief and the reality of death seem to arrive simultaneously. It is especially hard to watch parents care for a child, no matter what the age, die.

​I remember in 1998 I was in my second year of seminary when a young man in Wyoming was left dying on a fence rail in the dark, cold night, in Wyoming.

Having lived in Wyoming for several years, I knew what the nights were like. I was always amazed at how light it was, even on the darkest of nights, as stars and the moon would illuminate landscape, revealing the things that in so many places can only be found in the shadows.

The taunting, misleading, and beating of the young Matthew Shepard left all of us wanting to hold our children a little closer, and to find a way for us to talk more openly with one another about hate, and its implications when it becomes an act of violence towards others.

I traveled to Washington D C and stood on the steps of the Capitol, with thousands of others, who suddenly found called to speak out for something to change in our society. While living in Wyoming I served on the Crime Victims' Coalition, and had worked with law makers and victims to try to create laws that would protect people effected by violence.

I couldn't imagine the pain that this family had encountered, and I simply needed to be with others who were feeling the way I was. I needed to share my voice among the crowd that gathered.

The night was cold as we walked the Washington Mall and up the stone steps where lawmakers and a number of leaders, would come and share what they were feeling, and how they would work hard to see that this never would happen again.

We all seemed to huddle close together as the wind seemed to join in with the anger and pain we were acknowledging. One of the friends I was with was deaf, and so we were close to the front so that he could be sure to see the person signing for those who could not hear.

It was from that vantage point I could see the faces, see the tears as they flowed, and watched as lawmakers stumbled over their words to try to say something that would finally bring closure, or peace to those, like myself, who had traveled a great distance.

Today that young man will finally find rest. His ashes will be interned at the National Cathedral. This morning I awoke, and asked God that a mother and father finally be allowed to find some peace to this journey.

Grief is different for each of us. So often we expect people to suddenly be "back to normal," after suffering a loss. For many of us, including myself, grief is a life-long process with many hills and valleys.

The shortest verse in the Bible consists of two words. "Jesus wept."

While it occurs at a place where he encounters the tomb of his friend Lazarus, I have to believe that it happened more than once on his journey, and continues with us today. The reality of grief, sorrow, and the hatred that we encounter among the world that we live in causes our souls to cry out. While we may not understand it at the time, we come to the realization that with our tears, comes the tears of Christ, washing over us at the same time.

Many times while I look out over the open sea, I find the salty water to be the reminder of the tears that God has cried for us when we encounter sadness.

The reality is both reassuring and sacred. It is the reminder that the love of God allows for tears, and the difficult questions we ask when we are suffering.

Today I grieve for a family that will finally close a chapter, and for the grief they have carried, and for all of those who have encountered hatred, violence and death. For us as a society who will encircle those who have suffered loss, and for the presence of Christ who cries with us while we are held in God's grip.

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
~ Jeremiah 29:13

The acceptance and understanding of unconditional love can and does have so many effects upon us and those persons in our lives.

Once again realizing that the church is one place where we can develop that love with Christ, but then there are those other places where we see Christ.

One of my favorite songs is, "Seek ye First." It's simple melody prompts harmony when sung, and when sung in any size group, I often discover Christ.

Identifying Christ can be done in so many ways. Within the walls of beautiful cathedrals, and among the outstretched arms of forest canopies. Within the tiny ripple of a stream, and among cheering Red Sox fans. In the words shared in the Psalms, and in waiting rooms when a doctor shares the results of a surgery.

While we seek Christ in the church, finding Christ in one another is what gives presence of that love for others.

As the Divine and dust merged through God's breath of creation, so it is with the creation and the world when the love of Christ is shared with others. We are the fruitful presence of that love to the world, who seems to be seeking all kinds of things.

When we are present, allowing the love of Christ to dwell and live in us, then we make that journey for others easier. In their seeking they will soon find the love they seek!

In a thought process shared by Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see," we must, "love as Christ in order to be the change others need!"

​Love one another, because you are loved!

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus."
~ John 21:4

The shoreline can often be a place of great beauty, mystery, and unfortunately, storms.

As I woke up this morning, I realized that like the disciples who followed Jesus, there were times when they did not recognize him. One day, Jesus stood on the shoreline and asked if they had caught any fish?

This "stranger," instructs them to throw out their nets, and they draw in so much fish that they can hardly pull the nets in. He then eats with them, and they suddenly realize it is Jesus.

There's something about not recognizing Christ, even when there has been such a close relationship. It is a reminder to me that Christ is so very real and present that even those who have a close relationship with the Creator fail to recognize Christ's presence during different times in their life.

Knowing that Christ is present is sometimes hard to notice when we turn on focus on other things.

It's usually not until you refocus your thinking that you then realize that Christ was present all along.

​Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice!"
~ Song of Songs 8:13
​
Although my great grandfather was already a victim of what the old timers called, "hardening of the arteries," I knew that he was someone special in our family as a child. His habit of wiping silverware off before eating with his napkin, lining peas upon his knife to eat, and his love for ice cream, forever is present in my mind.

I learned from family that neighbors would tease him by saying, "Clarence, I saw a weed in your field."

Of course they didn't. He was meticulous about many things. His fields were nothing more than an extension of his skill for gardening, just on a larger scale.

The church is much like that where saints and sinners seem to be planted, and God tries to cultivate while battling seasons that are both dry and wet, and where harvests are unpredictable.

In my life I have encountered saints that have blossomed and provided the example of Christ. They are like beautiful flowers that onlookers want to stop and take note. This garden is often how people see Christ, and these folks are among the best view. However, I have also viewed some real weeds in that garden, and you just have to wonder why they are there as well.

The difference between the garden of my grandfather and the garden of the church is that God's garden is the church. This garden should be where the voice of God is heard and where people come together as one. It should be a place where sinners are not removed, but where they may find a place that allows for grace and change.

It's true, my grandfather would quickly remove the weed, however, in the church that should not be the case. It's not so much that the sinner be identified in the garden of God, but that there be nurturing and cultivation so that even the sinner has the opportunity to grow and mature.

It's like that grab bag of seeds we would get at the hardware store years ago. You would plant it and have a mystery garden. Only when the plant matured would you discover what was in the bag.

Wheat and tares, both are items that grow in Biblical fields. One thing we must not forget, they all coexist in the garden until God decides the harvest.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

This morning I came across a poem I wrote 9 years ago.

​NIne years ago I was recovering from a serious health scare. Each day I am brought back to this time when I sit with those who are at the end of life.

Recently I spent time with a man suffering from a rare muscular condition that is rendering his body useless, inch by inch. The condition will eventually cause his vital organs to cease to work. It has been both painful and disheartening for those around him to watch. Every time I visit him he reminds me, "You know I don't blame God for any of this. I love God. God makes it possible for me to live another day, surviving this terrible disease."

There are things that we all encounter that cause us to struggle, and to try and make sense of "why?" something happens.

Every day we meet people who are encountering "one event," that is changing their life. A death, birth, marriage, breakup, a diagnosis, lost job, a win... It goes on and on.

I'm not sure if I'm ever going to give thanks for having been ill all those years ago, but I am thankful that my prayers have come to reality. It's funny how the priorities of our prayers change when our life circumstances change. I can remember praying all those years ago to God to "Let me see my daughter fall in love for the first time," because that is something she had not experienced. The other prayer, "Let me see my son grow into a man," another that has come to fruition.

​May we all encounter each new day with thanksgiving.

Stay in God's grip!

Oh To Live Another Day

On the tattered edge of my
unraveling mind
The great ruler, time
slows the melody in my veins.

Before my eyes spring
my children, abounding in life,
even from the barest deserts.

Destiny rediscovered
in two small hands that
hold on to mine.

And in the sands of my memory
the tracks of small feet
that no one notices
but me,
in dreams
that revisit just before dawn.

Only whispers do I now hear
as I look to each new day
to sing out, “I am here”
with a loud voice.

On the fringe of nothingness
through the sun’s rays
I rebuild frail memories
meditations of my dreams in silence
as a defiance of the agony of aging.

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"And tho I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil."
~ Psalm 23

Year's ago I read the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel. It told of the horrific things that happened while incarcerated in a Nazi German war camp.

I had the honor of meeting Wiesel years ago as a seminarian. I couldn't help but listen as others asked questions.

It was as if God had poured God's entire presence into a single being, but Elie would be the first to recognize and point out that he was merely a man.

So many headlines and personal struggles around the world has me asking God questions that would border on having a faith that seems to be failing.

"Where are you God?"

Before I uttered my question I suddenly found myself remembering "Night" and realized I am asking the question that others have asked before.

It's a painful reflection of people starving in a concentration camp. An air raid prompts people living in the camp to attempt to get some food during the chaos.

A man, so weak, literally crawls to reach soup, only to be shot as he lifts himself to reach for the soup.

Later gallows are constructed and men are hung for attempting such things, and then a child, who is not heavy enough to break his neck when dropped. Instead he hangs, dangling, choking.

As onlookers gaze, the crowd watches and wonders, "Where is God?"

From within, Elie writes, “Where is He? Here He is — He is hanging here on this gallows. . . .”

God does not possess the ability not to be present. God is with each of us always. When we sin. When we express love as well as hate. What we live in darkness is as if pure light has filled the space.

I struggle today, because as I try to be a positive reminder of hope, love and of peace, I fall like many of us, to the consumption of fear and doubt.

I ask "Where is God?"

We are God's presence and it is important that we be that presence more than ever today.


Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

Six years ago I awoke early one morning while traveling through Southern Indiana where I spent most of my childhood. I drove out to Lake Monroe near the dam and watched as the morning fog lifted from the water. Framed by trees that were embracing autumn, I just remember sitting and watching, listening to the sounds of birds in the underbrush, and thinking about how wonderful it was to sit alone along the banks.

I realized that Jesus did not have this luxury. I have often wondered what it must have been like to have been the Creator, not able to see with his human eyes, all the beauty that exists in the world. But then I realize that he did. For God, we are the only part of creation made in the image of the Creator. The only creation fashioned by the Creator's hands, and then to possess the Creator's own breath.

I suddenly begin to realize that Jesus was among the Creator's most cherished creation. Us!

I have to believe that life was good for Jesus. To walk each day, among the creation, even when the creation seemed to have problems that only Jesus could remedy, often reminding those around to simply "love one another," and to "love yourself as well."

To be among the creation that Jesus would encounter around each corner, being different from the next, but still possessing the same gift of life from the Creator.

No sunrise is the same, but yet they are each created by God. No person is the same, but yet they are as precious as each new day.

The woman in the crowd touches Jesus, believing that something will change about her. The struggles that she has had with her health. The pain she has felt, and the life she has lived, removed from those around her. But on this day, she is among the crowd and she finds Jesus, and pushes her way to him.

She is healed by simply touching his garment. Jesus acknowledges her presence and and tells her that her faith has made her well.

She knew that by simply touching his garment, she would once again be made whole.

We are the instruments of that presence today. While I realize the need to walk among the water's edge, and to allow for a time of reflection, I am also aware that each of us are needed to walk among the crowds. To be able to be present to and for one another, even when it seems that the world may overwhelm us.

Being able to encourage one another, and to acknowledge that our faith will heal and sustain us, remains among the most valuable gifts we may offer to one another.

"Your faith has made you well."

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
~ 2 Corinthians 3: 18

In the book "The Outsiders," S. E. Hinton reminds Poneyboy to "Stay gold." Basically she means to continue being innocent, and pure.

The ability to remain any of these things is so very difficult. While the world rages around, and reminds us that not all things are as they seem, we learn quickly that at any moment our lives might change. "Stay gold" may be the words that God is sharing with us now.

The innocence of the creation has long since been marred by tragic stories. By actions that bring sorrow. By the destruction of the garden, by time, flood, and humanity's own hands.

We try to convince others that there was once a time that was "simpler." Perhaps days that were good, and times where there was peace and harmony.

Somewhere along the way we seem to have lost our ability to see clearly the face of God within one another. To acknowledge that within the glory of God was planted, and that how we care for one another determines the success of the care, and nurture of that seed. It's only when that seed matures that we see the success of the harvest.

As Christ prepared to leave, he shared that His Spirit would remain. A Spirit that would be present to help the world. "Stay gold" might indeed be a reminder of what is innocent and pure, but it is symbolic of hope. Of love. Of peace.

The glory of God is still present. It is both real and powerful. It's simply time that we recognize this within one another.


Stay gold and in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this."
~ Pslam 139:13-14


For me writing is a spiritual discipline, but I have to admit, sometimes I struggle with my ability to write when my "plate" gets "too full." When this happens, my spiritual life seems to be placed somewhere else. My time alone writing gets replaced by things that I consider to be more important.

It's in these times that I realize that my life seems to become unbalanced until God manages to nudge me and remind me that there is need for that time to stop, reflect, and write.

I realize that this is just the way I have been created.

For each of us it is important to find time to be alone. To allow for reflection, meditation, or prayer.

As the Psalmist reminds, we are each uniquely made, and so our ability to process life, or deal with the daily challenges, must contain time to think.

As a child I loved to watch Winnie the Pooh when he had a problem. He would sit and to himself he would repeat, "Think. Think. Think."

I have to admit I'm thankful for the flowers that grow around our home. Our gardens are both a source of beauty, but also where I can spend time thinking and working through problems as I dig and pull weeds.

As I looked at petal after petal, uniquely defined and layered, so amazingly organized that it's beauty causes one to stop and look. We are among God's most amazing pieces of creation. Our gifts are infinite, and the fact that we are here, miraculous.

I hope that today each of us have time to stop and reflect.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018