This morning one of the folks I was spending time with shared, "You do realize that God only gives us enough sense for one day."

I had to laugh, but it also caused me to stop and think about what she shared.  

It goes back to several things that I learned about God as a child, and still try to remember each day.  One of those is, "God gives us what we need each day, not what we want."

I know that for each of us, we all have encountered these things that seem to help us make sense of things that occur.  

While we don't always understand why we are limited, or directed in certain ways, the reality is that God will always have our best self in mind.  Often it is up to us to realize what lies before us, and then believe that all is filtered through God.

Today I'm thankful that God provides what I need each day.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us -- and we ought to lay down our lives for one another."
~ 1 John 3:11,16
I spent time with a woman who has been caring for her husband. As she shared about her husband's illness, she said, "A year ago we were traveling and celebrating our wedding anniversary with our kids. I wish I could explain why some things happen in our lives, but I can't."

"However what I am learning is this. Everything that is, is given by the God of love. All is grace. Light and water, shelter and food, work and free time, children, parents and grandparents, birth and death - it is all given to us. The important thing is how we deal with it."

She continued, "I am thankful to be in a support group with caregivers. I sit in this group and realize that every person in the room knows something about what it feels like to be going through and experiencing what I am experiencing."

When she shared this, it made me realize that this is OUR story as humanity. While we experience unique journeys, our human condition is something we all know about. We are the same image of a God that has created us. It turned out to be the reminder that each day we are asked to recognize those around us as brothers and sisters, and that they also are encountering the human condition.

While our lives may be lived out in as many different ways as there are people, I am reminded that each of us are a witness of God's presence to and for one another and the chance to make that presence known.

It is that witness that allows for us to say thanks: to God, thanks to each other, thanks to all and everyone.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
~ Phil. 4:13


Recognizing potential within ourselves is something that comes easy for some, while others seem to take a lifetime to discover.

One of the things I used to tell the youth I would encounter living on the street was, "Who told you this about yourself, and why did you believe it?"

It works for both good things and bad. Let's say you go through life hearing each day that you do something poorly. After a period of time, you may actually begin to think that what you are hearing about yourself is true.

Words that we hear about ourselves can be powerful. How we talk to others can also be powerful.

I'm grateful that God doesn't always make sense. You know, I just love it when the "least expected" becomes the overwhelming answer to a situation. It is both unexpected and it's what miracle stories are all about.

Listening to what others say about us only has power when we begin to believe it. Divine intervention has overwhelming consequences.

Believing in our potential starts with a simple verse, "I can do all things..."

Words of encouragement for one another begins with, "I believe you can..."

Being the example is "Believing I can because God is speaking and I am listening..."

You are loved! Love one another!

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

​

"Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky"
~ From the musical "Pippin"

This morning I woke up with these lyrics going through my head. I have to admit, it is one of my favorites because I realize the words are a need that many of us have. To find a place where we belong.

Years ago I went walking through familiar forests I knew as a child in search of some peace after having experienced a difficult time in my life. Funny how when I was a child growing up I couldn't wait to get away from the hills, forests and corn fields that seemed to create walls preventing me from living the dreams that I had. Later in life I seemed to find the need to return to these places once again to find those dreams again, thinking that perhaps they might still be there.

Instead I found an aging man who looked at the forest in a different way, struggled to climb out of some of the deep valleys, and saw houses that now stood where a cornfield once grew. Things had changed, and so had I.

Finding our place is a lifelong pursuit. Our ideas and dreams lead us to places where we hope to realize our belonging, but then there is Jesus telling us, "I am going to prepare a place for you," and I realize that the "you" is actually, "me."

Perhaps that is why for many there exists an uneasiness? Or the struggle to "fit in," or to find ways to belong?

The kingdom of God is our eternal home that seems to surround us at times, but yet, we struggle to walk in, or to invite that kingdom into our present life.

We do not have to wait until we die in order to discover that life. Each day we are invited to welcome the kingdom of God into our daily life. To realize that it is more than just a place, or some corner of the sky. It lives within you and I.

The kingdom of God is the place where our spirits will run free, and our heart is the place where that journey begins.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

This morning I awoke to a number of thoughts. It is almost as if my brain was two steps ahead of my body, and my soul was somewhere between. It's funny how our mind, body and soul are connected, but yet are so separate at times from one another.

​Sometimes we struggle to understand how these all may work together, but God knows each of us completely.

I guess that's why when there are days when we struggle to get our "whole self," working together, that we must seek out a way to trust that all will be well.

Sometimes the hardest thing about any day is learning to begin it by acknowledging that we must depend on God to somehow, "make it happen."

The way that we do this is really up to each of us. I know people who pray each morning, some even before their feet touch the floor. Some spend time with God as they make their way to school, or while sitting in traffic. I know for myself, spending that first hour of each day reading scripture and writing has become my time to allow for my mind, body and soul to catch up to one another so that when I walk out the door to head to my first appointment I feel ready to start the day.

Allowing our self to be wholly available to others begins with allowing our mind, body and soul to be wholly available to us.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

"I just don't believe that I am living on borrowed time.  I know that I am living on borrowed time."

I'm not sure if I realized the impact of this statement until I left my visit with my hospice patient and began to drive away.  Anyone who has survived a major illness, a wreck, a life-threatening injury, or a number of other things that could have ended your life understand that our entire life is about borrowed time.

We do not know the number of days that we will live.  It still amazes me when people talk about their illness and say, "Well, I guess it is just my time."

This morning as I write this, I'm struck by the reality that borrowed time is what we live on each day.  It is the only reality that we have because we have such a hard time understanding what eternity will be like.

Someone asked me the other day if there would be sunsets and sunrises in heaven?  For the person, she looked forward to these two events each day.  "I don't know, but I'd like to think that maybe there is."

While we know that our life here is marked by the rise and setting of the sun, our spirit understands that this is the signalling of the beginning and ending of the day for our bodies that will one day finally cease to exist.

So often I find that the conversation leads to the spirit.  I remind folks that we are limited by what our eyes see, but yet, the spirit knows.  While we may look upon someone and see the body encountering the end of life, within we know that there is a spirit waiting to let go of this life and move into eternity.

The time that we have borrowed is what people will remember us by, but in reality, eternity is what our spirit has already begun to experience.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

About a month ago I spent time with a family who was very unique. They were joined together by a heart. The heart of a son, who had been killed in a car wreck. His heart had been donated to a woman who desperately needed the heart to live. The donation brought the opportunity for the woman to live a very full life for seventeen years.

In that time, the woman had married and had two children, and she had also met and become friends with the heart donor's family. In fact, her first child, a son, was named after man whose heart she now lived with daily.

About a year ago the woman learned that she had a rare form of cancer, and that there was really no treatment. Realizing this, she decided to live out her life to the fullest. Along with her on this journey was the mother of the man whose heart she now had.

As we sat and talked, with both her mom and the man's mom present, I listened to a beautiful story of hope, and of perseverance, but mostly a story about love.

"I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful daughter," the man's mother shared, holding the hand of the woman. "I can still feel my son with each beat of his heart, but I have to admit, this journey, this sickness, has been like loosing him all over again. Only this time, there is so much more going on. There are children to think about, a husband, and another mother and father who are losing a daughter."

Our understanding of laying our life down for others comes to us in many ways. While many may begin to think of words such as "surrender" or "acceptance" when it comes to laying our life down for others. It really is about wholly being available to others, but mostly being available to God.

"I would have never have thought my life would be so fully blessed on the night that we lost our son, but it has. We realized that his life was meant for a greater purpose after the car wreck. It was meant to be a way for others to have a better life."

So often when we think of laying down our life for others we think of what will be lost. To these women, they completely understood what had been gained.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

We all get tired. Even scripture shares that after God created everything there was a need for rest.

Rest takes many forms. Lately I have heard of folks taking social media sabbaths that includes taking social media applications off their phones.

Rest for some means withdrawing from activities, or taking time off work to go on vacation, that then leaves you looking forward to going back to work so that routine will then involve getting the rest you need.

Yesterday I spent time with a man who's dimentia doesn't directly effect his brain, instead it effects parts of his body. "One day I woke up and simply forgot how to swallow. It was just so strange. And then a month later, I simply forgot how to walk. While I may be confined to my bed all the time, sorting through how to do things in my mind is just exhausting. All I want to do now is sleep."

Rest is something we all seek. It seems that on every street in America there is a mattress shop, reminding us how important it is to find the "perfect number" that somehow will allow for the perfect rest.

While we think of the physical rest we need, often we overlook the rest that our spirit also requires. We are reminded that we are mind, body and spirit. Caring for each also means that we need rest for each.

Our minds and bodies are generally the easy fix when it comes to rest. We simply turn out the lights, turn off the television, and close our eyes. But for many, the need for spiritual rest invades our ability to get good rest.

It amazes me the number of people, including myself, who struggle with insomnia at times. The reality is that often the laying awake late at night isn't because I'm not tired, often I find that it has to deal more with a spiritual problem. My spirit may be troubled, or exhausted, and I need to tend to it.

Recognizing that our spirit requires care opens up our lives to being vulnerable to what our spirit needs. It is sometimes allowing for moments of meditation, or journeying through scriptures that remind us to take time to breathe and rest. Our focus on our spirit allows for growth and maturity, while allowing for peace in our life that then leads to the rest that we need.

Allowing for rest does not mean that we are weak. It is the reality that what we are seeking makes us not necessarily stronger, instead, makes us whole.

May we find rest unto our souls as we remain in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

We all know a little bit about ourselves. Okay, we know a whole lot about ourselves. But when it comes to caring for others as ourselves, we must always start with us.

When I meet new patients for the first time, I often want to know about their faith journey, but also about milestones in their life. Often this will include times of great success, as well as, failures.

It's really okay to have both. In fact, we have all heard that a person cannot succeed without first trying, or even, experiencing failure. How we go forward from these moments says a lot about who we are.

One of the hardest things for any of us to hear is when the experience that someone has, then shapes their own feelings about who they are.

When I meet someone who seems to spend a lot of time talking negatively about himself, I will often ask, "So who first told you that you were like this?"

It's amazing how many of us carry poor images about ourselves based on what someone joked about as a child, or what some family member or friend said about us. I then will often ask, "And why did you believe this about yourself?"

It is one thing to "Own up" about something you have done, it's another to carry it with you the rest of your life.

In this case I can speak about myself. Often when I write about things like this, I'm often talking to myself as well. How we perceive ourselves, can't help but find its way into our daily life. For some, it then becomes a road block.

Let's face it, we live in a world full of images of what we should look like, what happiness should feel like, and what real success means. But for most of us, these are images or beliefs that none of us will ever remotely attain or own, but yet will experience because we realize that our own image of these things matters more for us!

Sometimes it's easy to look at our neighbors with anything but love when we have issues with our own self. I think that's why Jesus talked so much about beginning with us and the love we first must have for who we are. It is not selfish to love yourself. It is the beginning step to being able to love others.

If you begin to look at yourself and question what it is about yourself you don't like or love, think about what it was, or who it may have been, that first told you this about yourself, and decide whether it is worth carrying another day.

While it may not cause a revelation of self, it can provide you with a way to love yourself more deeply. Love yourself.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

Some weeks are just harder than others. This week has definitely been challenging for myself.

While hospice care is filled with many ups and downs, sometimes the combination of highs and lows leaves me at the end of the week, simply numb. This has been one those weeks.

Even this morning as I spend this time writing, and thinking about my own journey, I am also thinking of the final words for a graveside service I will preside over in just a few more hours.

I awoke this morning thinking about the conversation I had with a man who lost his wife just three weeks after his wife was diagnosed and died from cancer. He was then diagnosed two months to the day from his wife's death with his own terminal disease. As I sat and listened to him share about the treatment options his doctor had shared, he looked at me and said, "If I had done any of them, we wouldn't be sitting here talking. I would either be in a hospital somewhere recovering or already dead. Instead I got up this morning, took a ride on my motorcycle as the sun came up, and now I'm sitting here with you."

"I look at it this way. It is a "Win - Win" situation. The longer I live I get to spend more time with my grandchildren. If I die later today, I get to go to heaven to be with my wife."

His outlook on life and death made me think about my own life, and I left his home realizing that is really "Our Story."

Earlier in the week a coworker of mine lost her husband. The team I serve on had the honor of caring for him. It was on that day I was reminded how well hospice workers "compartmenatlize" both life and death situations so that we can go from one patient to the next. It applies not just for hospice workers, it is the way of life for many who struggle to balance work, home, family, and the challanges that the world just seems to bring.

As I listened to Aretha Franklin sing a number of gospel greats this week as I drove from patient home to patient home, and news stories from around the world filled the airways, I was once again reminded that life is always about balance. The idea of balancing mind, body and soul is the journey from struggle, to green meadows and still waters.

It is the balance between road construction and concrete mamoths, to soaring tree tops and clouds that seem to float effortlessly across the sky.

It is allowing the words of "Peace," to be with us, until we are able to surrender the words, "It is well with my soul."

While our balance is really our own journey filled with sacred moments, we are reminded when we are met with numbness to seek out God. To go off as Jesus did to pray, or to be among those who will break bread with us and remind us that we will be okay.

The pursuit of goodness and mercy following after us can only be realized when we take the time to let it happen. When this happens, the numbness begins to fade, and we can then begin to move forward again.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

I have often struggled with the story of Moses, simply because he went through so much with the Hebrew people, and then because of one way he handled a situation, God did not allow him to cross over into the promised land.

Moses, the boy set afloat in a basket, raised by another mother, then finding out he belongs not to the house of Pharoah, but to the slaves the house of Pharoah rules over. He kills a man, is sent into the desert, manages to survive and then settles into a new way of life with a wife and children, only to climb a mountain, see a burning bush that tells him to return to Egypt and demand the freedom of his people that are still slaves.

After living through every punishment delivered by God to the people of Egypt he is then given the duty of leading the people out of Egypt to the promised land. God even gives Moses the commandments that he must take to these people and tell them that this is the way they must live.

​Along the way, after years of listening to the people complain and asking, "Are we there yet?" Moses becomes angry one day and hits his staff against the rock and the next thing you know, God tells Moses that he will never enter the promised land.

Talk about a Biblical "let down."

Moses had endured, and lived with these people through so many hills and valleys, and encountered so many situations. It's not even as if God took the time out to coach Moses and create a plan to help him address what might happen the next time this happens. Instead he is sent walking into a different direction, without those he has been present with, and what many would think to be an unhappy ending.

I don't know if any of us are ready when we are told "No," especially when it is something near and dear to us, or when the person telling us "No," is God.

Years ago I remember praying for a situation to turn out the way I wanted it to turn out. Afterall, I knew everything about the situation, and I knew I had the perfect plan and knew what I felt the outcome should be. I also felt I was the perfect person to take it on. When the rest of the team decided to go a different way, and actually leaving me completely out of the final project, I remember feeling so hurt. In fact, it initially made me really angry. It wasn't until a year later when I was settled into another project that was such a better fit and fulfilled my life even more, that I realized that me being left out of the project was the best thing that could have happened for me.

It's not always easy looking at a door when it closes. It's even harder sometimes to see the open window, but ultimately both will be in the past.

The reality about Moses is that while he may not have crossed into the promised land with the Hebrew people, it is noted that God continued to walk with Moses the remaining days of his life, and that when he died, God buried Moses. (Deut. 34:5-7)

Finding our way through the wilderness of life is filled with many turns and unexpected outcomes, but if we look beyond closed doors, we will see that God is still standing next to us.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

Just the other day I heard a report that discussed just how happy people are. The report divided the country by states, then by cities, and commented on how people in one part of the country were happier than other parts. All I could think about was how those who heard they were in the most unhappy places felt hearing that there existed a better life elsewhere?

Happiness is often associated with blessings. It's as if God is pouring out greater blessings in one part of the country, while ignoring others. I can't begin to share the number of times that people have said, "I just wish that I had what they have," when comparing their life with the life of someone else. Sometimes it's not about one city or another. Sometimes it's as close as a neighbor across the street, a friend, or a sibling.

Sometimes it's just a matter of opening our eyes, and acknowledging what we do have, rather than what we don't. It is the realization that happiness exists, and that the means by which happiness is measured doesn't meet every situation or every community.

It is especially hard when I meet someone who asks, "Why did God heal her but not me?"

Healing and happiness will always exist. Our ideas about both can often challenge, or change our relationship with God. We are reminded each day to "seek out God." It's not that God has to be found. For me, it is a reminder that finding these things is just as important as seeking them out.

In the gospel of Luke when the paralyzed man was lowered down before Christ after friends carried him to a rooftop, then created a hole large enough for the man to be lowered through, it wasn't about Jesus coming to the man. It was about a group of friends seeking out Jesus for the man so that he might find healing.

When Jesus speaks the words, "Your sins are forgiven, take up your mat and walk," to the man, the man must stand and walk.

Our journey for healing and happiness requires our participation, and sometimes, it takes us being intentional about seeking these things out. God is always present. Seek the Lord first, and stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a good love story. Yesterday I met a man who has been married to his wife for 76 years. While in high school, he made friends with a classmate who invited him to come over after school to play ball. The classmate also shared that his mom made fresh cookies every day and had a nice cold glass of milk waiting after school.

He looked at me and said, "My mom never did that. My mom was one of those parents that had a list of things to do waiting for me when I got home."

After asking his mom several times if it would be okay to stop at the classmate's home, his mom agreed.

He looked at me and said, "If I knew that the first time I walked into his home I would smell fresh cookies and be introduced to the three most beautiful sisters I have ever seen in my life, I think I might have had more determination."

He went on to say that he knew the first day he visited the home that one of those girls would be his wife, and that he would become part of this family where their mom didn't just make fresh cookies. She absolutely poured herself into each of her children.

In a week's time he knew which girl would, "be mine."

"I didn't play a whole lot of basketball, but I sure ate a lot of cookies and drank a few hundred gallons of milk!"

As he turned and looked at that girl, now in her nineties and no longer able to open her eyes and smile, he began to sing to her and stroke her hand.

"What song is it that you are singing," I asked?

"Nothing really. Years ago my spirit just started making up songs that I would sing to her. Some days my songs would make her just smile, or even laugh. I wish I could see just one more of those smiles, but I know her spirit is still here, and her spirit is happy because it knows that it's about to be free."

What an encounter, and a sweet reminder that what we see as the body, is that which holds us to this place. For the man, he knows in all the years he has been with his wife, that even as she lay there unresponsive, he is caring for her spirit.

So much of what we know about life exists through the things we encounter each day, however, if we really consider our spirit, it is truly who we are and will continue long after this body takes a final breath.

I loved that he recognized the care for her spirit. He realized that even though she was no longer able to respond physically, her spirit continued to receive the outpouring of love from him.

​I suddenly found myself remembering in Proverbs that we are reminded that the spirit of humanity is truly the light of God, and that this light can never be overcome. It is that light that continues to burn, even when our own body has given out.

It was an important reminder to me that the care for our spirit continues, even beyond this life into the next. What an amazing love story they have shared!

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

Recently a friend shared that she felt as if people abandoned her during the course of her cancer treatment. She even went so far as to share that you can only tell your "real friends," by those who were with her through every treatment and each high and low.

I can somewhat relate after having experienced an extended illness years ago. When the news was first shared of my illness, and especially after a period of time in the hospital, every day there seemed to be a revolving door of people. As time went on, and I continued on my own journey to get better, there were fewer folks. After a year, I could count the number of people who visited regularly on two hands, and half of those people were family.

I think for a while I was like this friend who feels abandoned by her friends, but over time I realized that the issue wasn't necessarily with my friends, it was with me.

For people who are facing illness, accidents that require recovery, and those facing life-limiting illness, life has suddenly changed. Not only has routine been disrupted, but often there are great periods of time that suddenly exist to dwell on things, both healthy and unhealthy.

I told someone after a hospital stay, "I counted 24 ceiling tiles in my room, and then tried to figure out the average number of holes per tile that were part of the decoration in the tile." I had suddenly felt trapped by my illness, and my mind!

I read an account of someone who had been held prisoner during war, and he talked about memorizing steps, distance, and then imagined trips in his mind to lakes and beautiful meadows to keep him from the reality of what he was actually going through.

Illness, job loss, divorce, death, and a number of other life milestones can take us to to places we have never been before. All of which can be brought to light when we recognize that what we are feeling is grief.

It wasn't until months later that I realized what I was now experiencing was grief. Grief occurs when we have experienced losses, as well as, unexpected or unplanned life changes.

Someone shared, "Imagine how Jesus felt as he hung on the cross, looking out, and seeing not one single disciple he had called to follow him? Even in his final hours he cried out and asked God, 'Why have you abandoned me?'"

There suddenly exists a new understanding of being abandoned, but yet, the disciples gathered together to spend time with the risen Christ when he appeared to them. No where does scripture say that he asks, "Where were you?"

I couldn't say why it is that I felt the way I did, or how my friend is feeling now, but I will say that in the time that followed my illness when I could once again appear to be keeping up with the rest of the world, there were those who reached out and shared that they were sorry for not having provided more support.

I'm not sure if that helped me or them, but it really didn't matter. God had been present through it all, and that was really the lesson I learned in those quiet and empty times. Even Jesus reminds us that he will be with us always, even until the end of time.

Stay in God's grip!

​G. Todd Williams (c) 2018

A common conversation I have with my patients I see is the fact that most people don't understand the amount of energy it takes to be ill.

Even the most mundane activities can wear a person out when they are very ill, or in the final stages of life.

I remember telling someone during my own health crisis years ago, "You don't realize how easy it is to die, and how hard it is to live."

Realizing the struggle that many have, sharing this with those I spend time with suddenly finds they can talk openly about their situation. "My daughter just thinks I should be able to do this," one woman shared recently.

"She just doesn't understand that even on the day that the aide comes to visit to give me my bath, I am just exhausted when the aide leaves and all I want to do is sleep afterwards. She still thinks I can then get up and join her at the table for lunch."

When I asked her if she had told her daughter how she felt, she shared that she didn't want to let her down.

​Rest is something we all need, especially when we are weary. According to the dictionary, weariness is our way of showing we are tired. It is an outward sign of an inward problem. The psalmist shares of a weariness that is caused by sorrow, which then reminds us that while our body may become tired, or weary, our soul can experience such things as well.

When our soul becomes weary, then it becomes a spiritual issue. Finding rest for our soul means that our need to find a place where we can encounter God in a unique way. It is like discovering that special place in the woods, or that favorite chair, singing the perfect song, or that verse in scripture which then becomes a source of strength. It is sharing our spirit with God and one another in a way that allows for prayer and intercession to happen.

It is when we realize the need for our soul to be cared for that we can then begin to experience healing, hope, rest, and strength in a new way. May we all discover the way to overcome the weariness we may be feeling.

Stay in God's grip!

G. Todd Williams (c) 2018