I sat with a woman last evening who's husband of sixty-four years is dying. Fighting back tears, she looked at me and asked, "Why am I being so selfish?"
Our desire to hold on to things can create a number of circumstances and feelings thay can be seen as being "selfish," but wanting one more day with someone we love is simply something we desire.
There were simply no words. There was silence.
The times when we discover quietness offers up more than what we realize. It is when we welcome a time for us to be get closer to that which lies within.
It was there in that quiet place where she soon discovered that surrendering the things of this world doesn't mean that we have lost. It is the beginning of knowing what we have gained.
Sometimes quiet is necessary.
As we sat, and I began to pray, the words of the Psalmist brought to mind the 23rd Psalm.
The Lord is the One who greets me in the silence, even when meadows so green and waters that sooth may not be found.
While at times I see my own wants and needs as an ememy to my soul, I realize that the Lord is always with me.
I don't understand how it is that I am blessed, and overwhelmingly loved, when I struggle to love myself.
But You do, Lord.
Such mercy and love You show me each day, helps to remind me that You have prepared a place for me, that will allow me to rest when I finally surrender all, including my final breath on this earth.
In this quiet time, and in my wandering I shall find, Your complete peace, Amen.
Stay in God's grip!
G. Todd Williams (c) 2017
Rev. G. Todd Williams lives in the Houston metro area and is a Hospice Chaplain and ordained Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) pastor.