I am always reminded that we are called to grieve our losses. Even when the losses seem to have caused the type of pain that paralyzes us, and keeps us held as a prisoner to guilt and shame.
One of the things that I have become acutely aware of while being with those who are piecing together their lives and attempting to reconcile the past, is that when we find it necessary to hide parts of our own life stories from ourselves, or perhaps God, then we suddenly find that we become our own judge of our own past.
It's almost as if we prevent our own pain and keep God from being able to share that pain with us.
I was reminded today that God sent Christ to remind us that it is not the well who need a physician, but those who are in pain. For those who suffer and struggle to find a sense of healing for the woundedness that each of us encounter.
While trying to sleep last night, I realized that sometimes we simply need to name what we have lost, and why or what wounded us that caused us to live in that pain.
I guess I must have gone pretty deep on this journey because I suddenly realized that until we face our own woundedness, we are not allowing a place for God and healing to begin.
I remember while doing my fellowship at M D Anderson Cancer Center, as part of a project, I placed a chalice in the hands of different people and asked them what they thought or felt when they took hold of the cup that gathers the blood of Christ so that others may remember and draw closer to God.
Rarely did I hear the response that the person felt "suffering." It was always about reconciliation and restoration.
Going through the suffering is what allowed the reconciliation. Acknowledging the pain is what allowed room for restoration.
By allowing God to be with is in our hurts, that which has wounded us can and does look much different.
We must remember that our woundedness invites us to be held by bigger hands. That's why each day I try to remind us, including myself, to "Stay in God's grip!"
G. Todd Williams (c) 2018
Rev. G. Todd Williams lives in the Houston metro area and is a Hospice Chaplain and ordained Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) pastor.